


Panic attacks

by Broken_arrow32



Category: Voltron - Fandom, Voltron Legendary Defender, vld - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Voltron, vld, voltron legendary defender - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 06:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21506521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broken_arrow32/pseuds/Broken_arrow32
Summary: When the team gets into an argument, Lance has some rather unpleasant memories of his childhood with his father and spirals into a panic attack state, leaving the team unaware of how to help him and obvious as to what set him off. Will lance calm down and tell his fellow Paladins about his past? Will lance continue to hide in the end?
Kudos: 10





	Panic attacks

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Important disclaimer and warning! Please, if things like suicidal thoughts, attempts and cutting trigger you, please do not read this book, I do not wish to encourage actions such as previously mentioned, I am a graphic person and like to go into extreme detail, so if these things trigger you, or you don't like graphic stuff, I ask and advise that you please don't read. If you are depressed/have anxiety, etc, I advise that you seek help, it's your choice and I can't force you, but things can get better, so I do advise that you talk to someone, or ask/seek help.

Warnings:   
-Abuse  
-Anxiety attack   
If these things trigger you, please do not read  
————————————————————  
The Paladins where all gathered in a room, with one quite unwelcome and unwanted guest named Lotor. Shiro was standing next to said unwanted guest, going on about how Lotor could be valuable to the team and that the information he had provided them with had proved correct so far and it was just a matter of them opening up a bit and trusting the Galra soldier.  
However, the other paladins disagreed, and Allura politely voiced her and the other paladins opinion.

"Shiro, at least put some thought into what your saying here, we can't honestly be expected to let a Galra soldier, former or current, just walk about the castle as a "member of Voltron". The thought is nearly insane!for all we know, he could be a spy and the information he's given us could be a part of some huge plan!" Allura spoke, turning a little less sensible and kind at the end. Allura's only exception for Galra was the former red Paladin, Keith, and he knew that, as to why he seemed un offended by Allura's declaration. 

"But Allura, Lotor can-" 

"I-Shiro, maybe Alluras right, maybe letting Lotor loose in the castle isn't a good idea." Lance said. Managing to find his voice for this. Lance didn't like being part of these kinds of conversations. Despite the fact that he may seem an extremely confident person, he was very sensitive and despised himself, the insults and insensitive comments from his teammates hurting the young Cuban boy way more than they could see, his self confidence having been destroyed years ago. 

"Stay out of this, Lance. This doesn't concern you." Shiro growled. He and the Altean Princess continued to argue back and forth, both having raised their voices by now. Lance had decided he'd had enough of the twos bickering as it was starting to give him unpleasant flashbacks, and attempted to speak up again, trying to make his voice more stern this time. Lance exhaled and tried to get the twos attention while putting his hand on Shiro's shoulder. 

”Shiro-“ 

"I told you to stay out of this Lance!" Shiro snapped, shoving Lance's hand off of him, shocking the owner of the hand and everyone around him. Lance backed up immediately and chose to study the castle floor as the flashbacks became worse and worse as the argument progressed. Everyone noticed the pained expression on Lances face and how uncomfortable he seemed. Shiro noticed and felt slightly guilty but didn't show it, and kept arguing with Allura. Lance decided he couldn't take it anymore and went to leave the room as it was becoming hard for him to breathe in the current room he was in. He had reached the door when A voice stopped him. 

"Lance, where are you going?" Shiro asked sternly. 

"I'm going out this door. You said this conversation didn't concern me, right? Then there's no real good reason for me to be here." Lance replied sassily and turned to exit the room. He was about to walk through the door when he felt a strong hand grip his upper arm. The grip felt familiar and spiked an unhealthy amount of anxiety in the young Cuban Paladin and brought forward an unpleasant memory of his father. Lances first instinct was to get the hand off him before the owner hurt him as he had grown accustom too because of his father. so, without thinking as the anxiety plagued his mind, Lance spun around and punched Shiro across the face. Lances mouth dropped as he realized what he'd done. He'd swallowed roughly and run out of the room, ignoring the calls of his name from the other paladins. Lance ran down through the castle into the large observatory room, reminding himself that he was stuck in space, not at home with his family. All he wanted to do was go home. To enjoy a meal with his family again. To chat joyfully with his brothers and sisters. To play around and mess with his nieces and Nephews. 

"Oh to hell with this." Lance muttered, stopping his thoughts about his family from coming to his head. 

"They don't need me. As my dad said to me so many times, I'm fucking useless. I guess it's a pretty shitty life I'm living now. But talking about life, I've made it this far, and even became a protector of the universe. Heh. Are you proud of me now Dad?!" Lance chuckled quietly as he began to breakdown in tears. He took all his armour off except for his belt and his shoes, tossing them aside before he fell to his knees, sobbing freely as he glared hopelessly at the stars. Soon after he heard the door open. 

"Lance? Hey, buddy, are you ok?" Hunk asked as he walked up to said Paladin, being followed in by the others, except for Shiro and Lotor. Lance quickly wiped his tears and turned to face the others, smiling weakly at Hunk. 

"Y-yeah. I-I'm ok. I'm good.." Lance said, trying to keep his voice steady, but unable to avoid a light stutter. Hunk saw the look in Lances eyes. Hunk knew that look. That look told him Lance was, indeed, not ok. Hunk instantly took lance in his embrace hugging him for a few minuets until he helped his smaller friend stand. Lance and Hunk had been friends for years. Ever since they where babies. Hunk had always been there for Lance, and knew when his best friend was and wasn't ok or in a good state of mind. Hunk, being the childhood friend of Lance, was the only one who knew of the red Paladins severe anxiety and depression. Lance never mentioned it to the others. He felt he didn't need to. Blue knew, but Lance had asked his previous lion not to tell its new Paladin about his mental health problems, so Allura had never known and had never told the other paladins. But that was how Lance liked it. The only reason Hunk hadn't informed the other Paladins was because the young Cuban boy had begged him not to tell anyone. 

The other paladins noticed Lance didn't quite seem like himself, and had asked the unarmored Paladin if he was sure he was alright, and that they could trust him and where there for him if he wasn't. Lance just shook them off and told them he was "fine" and "absolutely peachy!" And stated that he had "never been better" as he blinked back tears and kept a steady voice to hold up his facade, something he had become a master at. The very thought of anyone seeing through his act terrified him. He couldn't stand the thought of anyone else besides Blue and Hunk knowing. Red had questioned Lance a bit here and there, but each time lance did the same thing, 

"It's nothing, Red. I'm good!" 

"You don't have to worry so much, I'm fine! Relax!" And played the scars off as nothing and that he hadn't even realized they where there or how they got there and faked having only a slightly decent memory sometimes. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape the memories of his childhood. Pidge, however, wasn't buying Lances statement, and knew he wasn't alright. 

"Lance, you're not fine. It's ok to not be fine! You don't have to be alright all the time! It's not exactly healthy, and saying you're "fine" usually means the opposite." Pidge stated. Then Keith, Allura and Pidge got into an argument about how they could and should help Lance and what was best for them to do. But the argument only made his state worse. Lance backed up from the three to the point he had almost pinned himself up against the window. Lance had an overwhelmed and worried expression upon his face. He couldn't think straight, his head felt fuzzy, and he couldn't breathe. The argument reminded him of the constant fights between his parents. 

"Uh... guys-" Hunk tried cutting in to drag the three out of their argument, seeing the effect it was having on his friend. Lances mind went back to when he had tried to sneak out and run away from his abusive father when he was fifteen. One of his least favourite memories. 

"Guys, stop-" Hunk tried to intervene, yet again unsuccessfully. 

—— Lance was dressed in simple black cargo pants, a light grey three courter sleeve shirt and a black vest, with his bags all packed, and ready to go. He stood by the window staring at the ground beneath him, occasionally glancing at the fire escape next to his bedroom window. 

"You ready to go, Lance?" Hunk asked, waiting on the ground with a few small bags of Lances. 

"Yeah, I'll be right down." Lance called back quietly, given it was the middle of the night. He grabbed his duffel bag, swung it over his shoulder and climbed out the window onto the fire escape. 

—— 

"Lance?!" Hunk yelled out, rushing to his friend. Keith, Pidge, and Allura stopped arguing immediately and the distressed call of their fellow Paladin and friends name. Lance had fallen to his knees, shaking severely, hanging his head with one hand on the ground in front of him for support and the other on his chest, indicating the distinct inability to take air into his lungs, allowing himself to breath. Hunk spoke soft and comfortingly to Lance, attempting to calm his friend down, but Lance couldn't hear his friends quiet words over the screams of his memories. 

—— Lance was about to slide down the pole when he'd felt a rough hand grab his upper arm, yanking him back inside the house. The person threw Lance to the floor after dragging him through the window. Lance scrabbled up to his knees to see his father standing before him and shoved himself back against the door. Lance was terrified of his father. 

"Think your smart do you? Think your clever, sneaking out, huh, brat?!" Lances father snarled. Lance didn't have time to move at all before he'd received a winding kick to the stomach. 

"Try this again, and I'll lock you in the closet to starve! I don't need you, I don't care for you, i don't want you in my life!! I only keep you around because your dumbass got a mother who won't let me get rid of you!" Lance cried out in pain and flew to the side as he felt a boot connect with his cheek, kicking him across the face. 

"P-please..... please don't hurt me.... it won't happen again, I promise, just please..... don't hurt me..." Lance begged, only to get another kick to the stomach and a booted heal crash down on his shoulder. Lance took a few more hits before he was picked up by the collar and thrown onto his bed. His father turned the Lights out, and left lance alone in the dark, closing the door behind him. 

"Lance...?! Are you there?! Are you ok?" Hunk called out, terrified for his best friend. Lance slowly got up and walked to to the window. 

"Y-yeah, I-I"m ok." Lance said. 

"Oh thank god, your alive.... you.... you still want to get out of here...?" Hunk asked. Lance looked faintly at the duffel bag on the ground next to his friend. He'd dropped it when he was pulled back into his room. Lance went back Into his room, picked up a small bag, put a few things in it, grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket, and shimmied down the fire escape and joined his best friend on the ground. Hunk noticed the huge bruise on his friends cheek, and brought his hand up next to it. 

"Oh, ...Lance... you can't keep doing this..... he's gonna kill you..!" Hunk said, worriedly. 

" I know.... that's why I'm leaving with you." Lance smiled light and crookedly, given the pain in his one cheek. Hunk hugged Lance. Lance wrapped his arms around his friend and buried his face in the crook of Hunks neck, sobbing silently. They stood like that for a few minuets before Lance calmed down, and they began to walk to Hunks house.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Stay tuned for chapter two! I’ll update as soon as I possibly can though I don’t have chapter two written like at all since this is an old fic from one of my other writing platforms that I lowkey forgot about haha. Hope you enjoyed!


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